God Hears our Cries

Yesterday when I was reading my Bible, I came to this scripture in Isaiah: 38 In those days Hezekiah became ill and was at the point of death. The prophet Isaiah son of Amoz went to him and said, “This is what the Lord says: Put your house in order, because you are going to die; you will not recover.” 2 Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, 3 “Remember, Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly. 4 Then the word of the Lord came to Isaiah: 5 “Go and tell Hezekiah, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will add fifteen years to your life. Sometimes people come into your life and make an impact. We all know those folks. When I worked my first "real" job, I worked with a sweet Christian woman who mentored and poured into me. Years later I worked at a hospital and ran into her and her husband. She was being discharged home after a tumuloutous stay. She has a terminal chronic illness, had some medical complications. She was still as beautiful as ever, but it broke my heart seeing her so frail and so ill. A week or so later, I read the scripture above about Hezekiah and I prayed that God would remember her faithfulness. She had gone on several mission trips, was faithful in her church and to her family. I asked that God would restore her health and give her many more years than 15. I don't recall how long that has been, but it has been several years. I have enjoyed from afar watching her with her growing family through social media. Although I don't keep close touch to know the daily ins and outs of her health, it appears she is healthy and vibrant enough to enjoy her family and still attend church. Today, I am in a different but similar situation. Once again, my heart is troubled over a loved ones health. Then, in my daily reading, I read this scripture. I am asking God to remember my loved ones faithfulness and to give him greater than 15 years of life and health. I do believe God has heard my cries over the last 8 months, and has given me this scripture on the day before we go to discuss further treatment. God is reminding me about HIS faithfullness and that He hears our cries. And sometimes, He changes the outcome!

The Good Life

Today I was leaving work and a really cute white (expensive) convertible sports car drove by me. I noticed the license plate said "GOODLIF". As I exited onto the interstate, there was standstill traffic. I watched the little car buzz in and out of traffic trying to move forward. I again noticed it when I took the next exit. For several miles I followed the car. I began contemplating the Good Life as I watched this car and driver weave in and out of traffic.. is she really experiencing the good life just driving that car? sure it is 75 degrees on an absolutely beautiful day, but does she really have the "good life"? the car is in the same traffic and same predictment that I am ...stuck and waiting. Then I thought, how often do we put hope in material objects, places or people thinking that it will give us the "good life"? We often search for the good life, but what are we really searching for? Happiness? Peace? Respect of others? So often we search for the Good Life here on Earth. I do think that we can have peace, joy, happiness; but, we also experience other feelings such as sadness, loneliness, etc. For me personally, Life is Good because GOD IS GREAT!

I Can't Believe

I woke up this morning with this thought on my mind, "I can't believe". It is not that I really can't believe something, but rather that I would have never thought...I am taken by surprise at the thought of something! All day long my mind has been processing these thoughts. Here are some of my "can't believes":

I can't believe that today was my son's first day of high school...

I can't believe that summer is almost over...

I can't believe that I bought a pool membership for the summer, only to find the time to go one day... for one hour...

I can't believe it has been almost a year since I blogged...

I can't believe that Cupcake returns to college for her sophomore year in a few weeks...

I can't believe that I am able to type the above statement without tears in my eyes...

I can't believe that last summer when I was praying earnestly for God to show me what I should do with my life that I felt Him say "go to college"...

I can't believe I never told anyone that for months...

I can't believe that about a month after Cupcake left for school, my husband told me that he thought I should consider going back to school and finishing my degree...

I can't believe that baby son agreed...

I can't believe that I am enrolled in college full-time for fall semester...

I can't believe that all of my classes are online...

I can't believe that a door opened that only God could open to allow me time to work, go to school and balance being a mom and wife.

I can't believe this is my last week at the job that I have had for 10 years...

I can't believe that I will be going to "work" in a different place next week...

I can't believe that I never foresaw any of the above this time last year...

I can't believe that I am so blessed.

God of Purpose

In the mornings on my drive into work I usually listen to a local Christian radio station. On the days that I don't take my son to school, I leave a little earlier for work and get to hear a "Word with Beth Moore", which I absolutely love!!!

Today, Beth stated that God is not a God of coincidence but a God of purpose. I have heard this before in other messages, but it spoke loudly to me today. She stated that when we are going through a specific circumstance, it is not coincidence that the Sunday Sermon, or Bible Fellowship, or Devotion speaks to us directly about that circumstance. God's Word is a word of purpose and is delivered to us at that exact moment when we need it. Those words made me really stop and think.

This has been a light week at work. Monday, of course, was a holiday. Today one of our physicians and the nurse practitioner was off, so we did not have any patients scheduled in the clinic. It has been a good week to take to catch up on things.

As I was walking back into the office after going to the mail room, I recognized one of patients in the hallway outside of our office. As I approached him, he was talking to another man and it was very evident that the man was witnessing to him. As I got closer, I saw the man offer him a gospel tract by Billy Graham, which he graciously accepted.

I entered the office through the back door about the time the patient entered through the front. He thought he had an appointment today. When the receptionist explained that there were no doctors in the office today, he pulled out his appointment card and realized the appointment was not until next week!

I had to stop and smile. I had just witnessed a divine appointment. God is not a God of coincidence but a God of purpose. His Purpose is to further His Kingdom!

Life with a Cupcake

Confession. I have been living the past 18 years with a cupcake! This week her Dad and I took her to college. I thought I would share one of our conversations on the drive to her college.

Cupcake: Puts on her sunglasses, throws her head back and proudly states: "This is the best decision I have ever made in my life!"

Me: "Oh...going to ETSU?"

Cupcake: With an expression that meant there was an eye roll behind those glasses: "No! Getting my hair permed. Now I just have to shower, scrunch and go to class!"

Of course! What was I thinking? Cupcakes...you gotta love them!


"He fills my life with good things." Psalms 103:5 TLB

Not Good Enough

As I mentioned in my previous post, I was 10 years old when I realized that I didn't want to go to hell. I call that my "fire insurance" experience. For the next 13 years, I spent my life trying to be "good."

Being the middle "girl" and having so many siblings in a mixed family, I quickly found my "niche" as being the good child. At a very early age I became an over-achiever, especially in school. My elementary school held a graduation ceremony for all sixth graders before they entered middle school. At this ceremony, the graduating students were recognized with various awards. I made it my goal to receive as many awards as I could. I was honored for winning two writing essays from the Daughter's of American Revolution , placing in an Osali poetry contest, as well as many, many others. I remember my name being called so much that there were sighs (and eye rolls) from parents and other students in the audience. Regardless, I was so proud of myself. I still have the scrapbook of awards today! (Can you say...geek???)

Entering middle school I soon realized that it was not so cool to be such an academic achiever. As with all adolescent kids, middle school was a very awkward time for me. I was very consumed with what other people thought of me and I continued doing everything that I could to be "good". By high school I had succeeded with building my reputation of "the good girl". I worked very hard for that reputation and I honestly wanted to be good. I did not want to disappoint anyone. My parents, friends, teachers or God.

However, my senior year of high school I decided that "being good" was just not working out for me. I was tired of being known as "good". While my group of friends were popular, dating, etc., I was known as "the nice girl". I was actually voted "Most Courteous" by my senior class. Not best looking, wittiest, best dressed...but just nice. It was then that I made a decision that I needed to do something. My parents were very strict and I was not allowed to do many of the things that my friends were doing. However, I found rebellion in other ways.

After graduation I felt I had rebelled against everything that I had believed and I had grown far away from God. A few months after graduation I began dating my husband and we married a few years later. We had started attending church when while were dating and once again, I began the same relationship with God--I continued on the path of trying to do "good."

We were very active in church and I even taught Sunday School, Children's Church and helped with Vacation Bible School. However, I knew in my heart that something was wrong and missing. The more good things that I did, the worse that I felt. Our pastor's wife had given her testimony time after time of how she thought she was saved at a younger age, only to realize as a pastor's wife she was not.

I talked to God about this a lot. I knew I had gone down an aisle in church not wanting to go to hell, was baptized and felt or hoped that was enough. I had spent all of my life, with the exception of my senior year, pleasing others and trying to do and be "good" and surely that was enough. I spent months struggling and wrestling with God. I could not understand why I was feeling lost. I also did not want to share this with anyone because I was worried about what others would say.

Finally, one September morning sitting in church, I went forward. I finally got it! Christainity is not just knowing that there is a Christ. It is not a religion. It is not what I could do for God or how good I could be to obtain a place in heaven. It was (and is) about a relationship. It is about what Christ did for me and I realized that there was nothing I could do to earn salvation, but it is a gift from God. I simply am just not good enough. No matter how hard I tried, how many awards I won, or what offices I held in the church.

I am not perfect and everyone who knows me knows that. However, I am grateful that I am a child of God and that He loves "ME" for the real me. I honestly believe that there are many people who are like me. Trying to serve and do good things so others will see how worthy they are and what a good "Christian" they are. However, they have missed the point and they do not have a relationship with the Lord at all. I would encourage them to search it out in earnest prayer and then surrender. The Lord will definitely show you and give you peace in knowing that you are forever His.

This, was and is, the greatest decision that I have ever made!

Fire Insurance

Growing up I remember my mom always taking me and my siblings to church. My stepfather never went, but it was always important to my mother that we go. She grew up in a very strict Christian family and my grandfather was a Deacon. My grandmother sang in church and from what I gathered their family was very involved in church when she was growing up.

My earliest memories of attending church though were with my neighbor. I remember my mother getting me, my sister and brother dressed and sending us out the door with our neighbors. I remember the church was small and hot. I also remember always taking a nap every Sunday. I think I must have been around 4 at the time.

A few years later, my mother started taking us to our step-grandfather's church. He was a minister and preached at a small "mission". I am not sure why it was called "mission", but it was possibly because it was not a church building but the upstairs of an old grocery store that he rented. For some reason that I don't know or can't remember, we only had church at 3:00 pm on Sunday when he was at this location. My step-father attended this church only once upon the prodding of my grandmother. It was one Easter morning and he never went back again.

We continued to go church. Eventually my step-grandfather moved to another building which was actually a church. There he had normal church services and we attended pretty regularly. However, for some reason we started attending yet another church. This was my "home" church and the one that I remember most.

I have very fond memories of Bethel Baptist. The church always had a wonderful VBS. In Sunday School we had Bible Drills, which I loved! I loved trying to be the first to find a particular scripture and read it. Of course, there were several church camps I attended too. Also, I had a very special Sunday School teacher who dedicated her time and love to teach the same group of girls for years.

One of my most vivid memories is of a play production, THE GATES OF HELL. I was so excited to see this play because there was so much hype about it. However, I had no idea what I was in store for!

I was around 10 years old at the time. My brother and sister who were both older than me, had professed their salvation and been baptized. I was so concerned because I had not. My mother kept telling me to not worry, because when the time came, I would know that the Lord was calling me to salvation.

Her consolitations and assurances didn't help much. I was always the child who wanted to please. I liked to be the first at anything and the best. Most of all, I loved positive affirmation and I strived to get it any way that I could!

The play left a huge impression. Again, I was only 10 and I am sure the acting and scenes were very amautuer, but to me they were so real! There was a curtain pulled across the front of the church . People that I knew, elders in the church, were going down to their final judgment. I don't really remember anyone going forward and going to heaven. They probably didn't given the name of the title. However, the actors did such a good job in portraying hell! My most vivid memory is when one lady, who used to scare me anyway, let out a blood curdling scream and begged and begged to not be taken into hell.

It was then that I knew that I needed to do something! In my mind, I needed fire insurance! God's call or not, there was no way that I was going to go to hell. I made a decision that day and went forward like my my brother and sister and so many of my friends had done.

That day, I received fire insurance. I had nightmares for weeks about hell. I still shudder today thinking about the play and and way that hell was portrayed. I know in my heart that no play can portray what hell is really like it. I believe that hell is much worse than our minds can matter. I believe that it is a real place. I believe this, because I believe the Bible!

I was sure glad that I had gone forward that day at church. However, this "decision" at 10 years old that I made "on my own" haunted me for years. I had fire insurance, as the years passed, I learned that this was not enough.