Abba Father

My father died when I was one year old. My mother remarried when I was four. My stepfather was a good provider for our basic needs, but he was not an affectionate person and never provided emotional support. My stepfather and mother had been married before she married my dad, but he had left. The biggest unspoken fear in our home was that one day he might leave again. I lived with that fear and instability as a young child. Needless to say, I had many insecurities.

Growing up I struggled with who I was. I was very different from my other siblings. I longed to know my real father--my biological father. What was he like? Was I like him? I had heard many different stories about him. Most were good but not all. I had always been told that he was in Heaven with Jesus. (Later in life my grandmother gave me a letter that he had written to her years before giving her his testimony of salvation. I praise God that it was true!)

At some point in my childhood I made a connection. If my "real" father was important enough that Jesus wanted him to come and live with him, then I must be special too. I used to look into the heavens, especially at night, and "see" heaven. I could see God, Jesus and my dad and they were all watching over me. They were protecting me. This eased my fears and helped me to feel secure. I remember closing my eyes, running to my father (God), and getting big hugs and affirmation from Him. I imagined crawling up on His lap. I could feel Him wrap his arms around me. I knew things would be okay.

I believe that it was during this time that the Psalm 68:5 became very real to me. Although I did not learn this scripture much later, it's truth in my life was very evident. God is a father to the fatherless and husband to the widow. God was my father. He was the Provider of the needs that I did not have met by my stepfather. He was a part of me. I was His child. Special. Chosen. God chose my real father. Therefore, I felt He chose me too.

As an adult, God is still my Abba Father. He is there when I need Him. He is there when I cry out. Lately my heart has been burdened. There have not been any real significant traumatic events in my life. I am burdened for the ones I see making wrong choices, fearful as my daughter is about to move off to college, hurt for others who are hurting.

I close my eyes. The tears stream down my face. I see Him sitting there. He is waiting for me, just as He was so many years ago. His arms are outstretched. I run to Him. I sit on His lap and bury my face. I sob and words don't come. I feel His arms wrap around me. Once again, I am safe. I am secure. I am resting in His arms. I am with my Abba Father.

But you, O LORD, are a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of my head. Psalm 3:3

Mountain Blessing Getaway

"Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting

You are God."

Psalms 90:2

This weekend our family took a short trip to the mountains. I often say that I feel the mountains calling me, and had looked forward to our weekend getaway. Although not a far distance, it is far enough away from the hustle and bustle of every day life that it really regenerated my soul. To me, the mountains proclaim God's glory and majesty. We stayed at a wonderful cabin and got to see first hand God's beautiful creation.

We awoke to this view Sunday morning...

After the rainbow, the "smoke" came rolling in...

Cascade Falls...

we were too scared to hike to Laurel Falls, but maybe next time!

A six-point buck spotted on Sugarland's Nature Trail hike

Living in Darkness

This morning during my quiet time I was reading in John about Nicodemus questioning Jesus about salvation and being "born again". It was interesting to me because Nicodemus, a Jewish rabbi, knew that Jesus was sent by God but he was puzzled by how to come to salvation. However, this passage really stood out to me as I was reading:

18 “There is no judgment against anyone who believes in him. But anyone who does not believe in him has already been judged for not believing in God’s one and only Son. 19 And the judgment is based on this fact: God’s light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. 20 All who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. 21 But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants.” (New Living Translation)

My mind started to process this scripture and I had to ask myself a question..."Am I afraid of the dark?" The answer for me is NO! Actually I like the dark and I am quite comfortable there. I sleep best when it is dark. When the days get shorter and there is less light, I stay home more and go to bed earlier. I am very comfortable in the dark.

On the other hand, do I like the light? Yes, I love it. However, sometimes I would prefer dark (or dimly light). Darkness sometimes hides my flaws to others ... say, a blemish on the face or gray roots under my highlights (yes, it is true--I am not a natural blonde though should have been!)

So today I am asking myself and anyone else in blog-land reading this... are you afraid of the dark or are you comfortable there? Is sin keeping you in the dark? I think that often as Believers we find ourselves in a dark place but it is comfortable. To come to the light would be exposing our faults and our weaknesses. However, God is there in the warm light waiting to embrace and forgive us and ready to make His Light Shine through us... if we will just step out of the dark. Think about that!

Summer, Summer

I thought I would share some pictures from our quick beach trip. We had not planned on taking a vacation this year, but Kaitlyn talked her Dad into it! This was actually her b-day present. She told him "17" is a milestone, it worked! For a few days we all got to enjoy her present... and her presence!

I love the beach...I am in awe of the ocean... I always say that it reminds me of nature's obedience to God, then on the drive home the mountains proclaim His majesty!

The Queen Ant

Our nephew Carson, who is four, came down to play the other day.
Our conversation went something like this,

"Aunt Gina, there was a Queen Ant on my porch today!"

"Really, you had a Queen Ant on your porch?"

"Yeah, it had on an itty bitty crown", as he lifted his arms to head to illustrate.

The picture is of Carson's "REAL QUEEN AUNT"... me on my 40th b-day.

Inspired

Call it copy cat, whatever, but after seeing my friend Regina's blog, she has inspired me to post something after the long absence. You can find her blog "Regina's Flowers" under the blogs that I follow. I am sure that upon viewing, you will have the same peaceful, relaxing feeling that I have when I view it.

Anyway, I have decided to share some flowers from my garden and have committed to post more often--some of my favorite things and happenings in my life.

The pic above is my clematus. I love it...have had it for about 5 years... It is actually a deeper purple than the picture but it still gorgeous!

To the right is a Dahlia that I "won" at church one Mother's Day when Kaitlyn was probably four. It has been faithful to come out every year and blooms all summer long...

I am unsure of this flower's real name but I call it "Mrs Ruth" after the lady who gave it to me. She called it the "balloon flower" because the buds look similar to a hot air balloon before opening. I always think of Mrs. Ruth when I see this flower... she passed away a few years ago.

I enjoy the flowers in my garden. I overheard a lady today talking about roses and she said, "Aren't God's creations beautiful?" And yes, they are!